Like a Rom-Com
by a.touch.eclectic
Summary: Victor enlists Emma's help with his love life, while Ruby and Hook have some schemes of their own. Captain Swan, FrankenWolf pairings.


**AN: I have the incredibly bad habit of having more idea than I can actually write, but this is one that made the cut with me and my muse. Unfortunately, my muse didn't let me write more for it, so it's just a one shot. I hope you enjoy!**

"Dr. Whale to Pediatrics. Dr. Whale to Pediatrics," the PA blared throughout the hospital. Victor heaved a sigh of frustration. He cursed Regina for making him the only person in this town that seemed to actually be trained in medicine. After the curse was broken, some of the "doctors" and "nurses" had resigned, leaving them short staffed to begin with. Those that did stay were hesitant to do anything very dangerous, medically speaking. That left Whale running ragged everyday.

"What's going on?" he asked the attending nurse.

"Seven year old with chest pain. Doc suspects a pleural effusion, but he wanted to get your opinion to be sure," she explained.

Whale put his stethoscope up to the child's chest. "Breath in and hold it."

The little girl obeyed, and both her mother and Doc looked on in concern.

"It's just a chest cold. Nothing to be worried about," Dr. Whale reassured them both. He walked out of the room while all three rejoiced.

Another sigh, another second opinion, and finally, another day down.

"Oh, Dr. Whale, I'm so glad I caught you before you left. Henry's been complaining about a rash, and I wanted you to check it," Emma cornered him before he had a chance to officially clock out.

"It itches all over," Henry complained. He lifted his shirt to show off the bumps and redness that was spreading all over.

"Did you eat anything new today?"

"No."

"Any new medication?"

"Nope."

"Were you in any vegetation recently?"

Henry's answer was not as quick as before. "I was all over Neverland until three days ago. Could it be something from there?"

Emma looked at Whale, panic in all her features. "What if he got poisoned by something there. Would we even have an antidote in this world?"

Whale examined the rash. He handed Emma a tube from one of the cabinets behind him. "Put this on every morning, and throughout the day as needed to stop the itching."

"What is it? What's wrong with Henry?" Emma asked, her panic still present.

"Poison ivy. It will be gone in a few days."

"Thank you Dr. Whale. I really appreciate it!" Emma said. Victor pulled away before she could pull him into anything more before he went home. As she walked away, an idea alit in his mind however, and he called her over to him. "Hey, wait."

"What? Is there something else?"

"I just, wanted to ask you for a favor. Could we talk?" Victor asked.

Emma glanced at Henry, silently asking him for his thoughts. "I'm supposed to take him to Regina's in a minute. Do you mind meeting me at Granny's in five?"

Victor shook his head. Granny's definitely wasn't going to work for this plan. "The Rabbit Hole would be better."

"Fine. See you in a few minutes." Emma walked away, son in tow, and Victor began questioning just how smart this plan was. Of course, he had been trying to find a way to make this work for months now, and it was going nowhere. Emma may be his only hope.

Victor was already at the bar and into his first drink when Emma showed up and sat down next to him. "Whiskey, straight," she told the bartender.

"So, what's up?" Emma turned to Whale with her drink now securely in her hand.

"Emma, I need your help," Victor said so quietly she had to bend forward to hear him.

"Yes?"

"You and Ruby are pretty close, right?"

"She's closer to Mary Margaret, but yeah, pretty close."

"Has she ever, talked about me?"

Emma's eyes widened in surprise. "You're not serious, are you? I mean, the two of you seemed close when I left for Neverland. Nothing's happened since then?"

"I wouldn't say nothing's happened. Ruby and I talk, we eat together occasionally..."

"At some place other than Granny's?" Emma asked.

Victor hung his head sheepishly. "No."

"Okay, there's your first problem. Does Ruby know you want to move things forward?"

"I'm not completely without moves. I do know how to ask a woman out, as I'm sure Mary Margaret's mentioned."

"That's enough on that subject," Emma interjected, obviously not interested in hearing the details behind her mother's love life before the curse broke. "What about letting her know you're interested in more than just sex?"

"Well, that's where you come in. Before I came to this land, I wasn't exactly a...social person."

"I got that hint when I found out you created monsters in your basement," Emma replied.

Victor opened his mouth to retort, but he found himself not really all that concerned about correcting the uncorrectable. "So, how do I get Ruby to see me as less of a one night stand kind of guy, and more of a relationship guy?"

"It's gonna be kind of hard. Once you've given a girl one kind of impression, it's really hard to change her mind. Lucky for you, Ruby is fairly easy to win over."

"That's the problem though. I want it to be easy, but if it's too easy, maybe that just means we're not meant for long term, right?"

Emma raised her eyebrow once again. The Dr. Whale she knew was not the "settling down" type. He had slept with her mother after all. Even knowing him as Dr. Frankenstein didn't inspire confidence in his stance on commitment. Suddenly, here he was talking about trying to persuade Ruby to pursue a relationship.

"Listen, Whale, the only way to convince anyone that you're interested in more than sex is to be consistent in your actions. And..."

Victor leaned forward, hanging on her every word. "Yes?"

"Don't have sex."

Victor was speechless in surprise. "Isn't that like, the worse thing for a relationship?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Of course you'd think that. You're a guy." Her snark expelled, she began speaking more calmly.

"I'm going to give you a few hints, some insights into women, so please listen carefully, because they're not to be repeated. Women like to know that they are appreciated, that you care about them for more than just their looks. What was it that first attracted you to Ruby?"

Victor stopped himself from blurting out his first answer. He didn't think Emma would accept 'her legs' as a valid response. "Remember when that guy, Greg, came into town, and I had to operate on him?"

Emma's face clearly betrayed her regret at that decision. "Yeah, so?"

"Well, I was still trying to adjust to finding out who I really am, and how the world sees me. You got it easy you know; your parents are royalty, you were destined to do something worthwhile for other people, and everyone looked up to you, whether as Emma Swan or Princess Emma. Me? I create monsters.

"I couldn't take the pressure that night. All I could think about was my brother, Gerhardt. I got him killed, and then...he's the reason people know who I am here."

Emma took in the story without talking, but a long pause ensued, and she finally broke it. "How does that relate to Ruby?"

Victor sighed, this time a small measure of wistfulness entering the over exaggerated exhale. "Ruby came to find me that night. She saved me from killing myself actually. After pulling me up on the pier, I told her about my brother, and my past life. We kind of bonded, monster to monster."

"That's when you started liking Ruby?"

"Yeah." Victor threw back his drink in the silence that settled between the two.

"Have you told her?" Emma asked after taking a mouthful of her own drink.

Victor let the question hang in the air for a moment. He knew that this was the linchpin for everything. "No."

"After I'm done with you, she'll know."

CSFWCSFWCSFWCSFWCSFW

"Hey Hook, what can I get for you?" Ruby asked as he slid into a seat at the counter.

"Henry kept going on and on about your famous 'grilled cheese sandwich.' I figured it was time I tried them for myself."

"One grilled cheese, coming right up," Ruby replied. She walked off, leaving the pirate to stare purposelessly at the wall for a moment.

"So, how was Neverland?" Ruby asked, placing a plate in front of him.

"Quite the adventure. We were lucky to find Henry when we did and get back without loosing anyone," he replied. He picked up the steaming hot sandwich and took a bite. Unfortunately, everything Henry had said about grilled cheese sandwiches did not extend to the warning about how hot they could be.

"Hot, hot, hot." He dropped the sandwich and began fanning his mouth in an effort to stop it burning. Ruby handed him a glass of water, which he drank gratefully.

"Thank you. That was much hotter than I expected," Hook said, eyeing the sandwich suspiciously.

"Yeah, sorry about that. If you give it a minute, it should cool down. It's the cheese inside," Ruby said.

Hook stared at the sandwich for a moment. "That might be worth trying."

Ruby watched the pirate, and he could tell she was wanting to say something, but didn't know how. "Spit it out girl. What's troubling you?"

"What's going on between you and Emma?" she finally asked.

Hook leaned back slightly in surprise. This was the last thing he would have expected the scantily clad waitress to ask.

"Why do you ask darling? Hoping I'm available?" he asked once he had overcome the initial shock.

Ruby gave him a smile that stopped at her lips. "No. As much as I wouldn't say no to a night with you, that wouldn't exactly help me with my goals. Plus, Emma is my friend. I don't think she'd be happy with me encroaching on her territory."

"'Her territory'?" Hook's eyebrow raised in curiosity.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "She tries to deny it, but it's kind of obvious how she feels about you. Of course, she's going to be the last one to actually admit it. That's why, I think you need to make the first move."

"I assure you, I have been as clear as I could be. But of course, she's not responding to anything I do."

"What have you been doing?" Ruby asked.

"I complement her, understand her despite her refusal to tell me things, I've never lied to her, and I have never said anything that would at all indicate I did not want the two of us to end up in bed together."

Ruby rolled her eyes again. "The last thing you do to get a woman interested in you is to mention sex in any way. Not if you want a long term relationship."

"Who said I was looking for anything long term? Emma is an intriguing woman, but I highly doubt we could be - together." Unfortunately for Hook, Ruby saw right through the ruse.

"I may not be a human lie detector like Emma, but I can see BS like that a mile away."

Hook didn't know how to react. Having another woman come to him with such understanding was astonishing. "Are you sure you're not interested?"

"Save it pirate. I already have someone...Well, I hope I have someone."

"You're giving me advice, and you're not sure about your own love life?" Hook was definitely suspicious now.

"We're not talking about me and the fact that some people aren't willing to make a move. We're talking about you, and persuading you to take the best course of action you can with Emma."

"Which is?"

"Listen closely, and you will finally win Emma over."

CSFWCSFWCSFWCSFWCSFW

Emma sat at one of the booths, trying to appear as if it was a normal Tuesday morning. Ruby delivered her typical hot chocolate with cinnamon, and she smiled pleasantly at her friend.

"How are you?" Ruby asked.

"Fine. Just getting back to normal after the whole Neverland craziness."

"Yeah, next time you go to another world, a little notice would be nice. Leroy was on a high horse the whole time, convinced he was the 'senior officer,' in charge of the town."

"I would like to promise that I will let you know next time, but considering how it's happened before, I don't think it will get any easier," Emma said honestly.

"There's more to Neverland than you've been saying though. What happened with you and Hook?" Ruby asked.

Emma sighed. "What is up with everyone? Nothing happened."

Ruby stared at the sheriff, disbelieving every word.

"Hello Emma," Hook said, sliding in the booth next to her.

Emma looked up but didn't reply. She was too shocked to say anything. The pirate had forgone his typical leather style for a more updated layered look. He had a gray v-neck teeshirt peeking beneath a red and white checkered button up, with a dark brown fleece pullover. Despite all the clothing, there was still enough space to put his dark chest hair on display. Emma pulled her eyes down so that he wouldn't catch her staring speechlessly at him. It was an even worse idea as she found herself looking at his dark jeans that pulled in just the right places.

"Morning," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear the breathlessness in her voice.

"Hi Killian, what can I get for you?" Ruby asked, leaning down low so she was nearly eye level with him.

"I remember you talking about those pancake things? Can I have those?" Hook asked, flashing a smile that usually accompanied a comment that would make a nun blush.

"Coming right up!" Ruby walked away with a distinct swing to her hips.

Emma eyes bugged out at the interaction. When did this happen? They had been back four days and these two were over each other like teenagers. She shouldn't have been surprised though - two attractive people with no issues flirting with others, of course they would be interested in one another. Almost more than their non-stop flirting, she was shocked by her own reaction.

"Hey Mom! Hi Captain!" Henry said, plopping himself down across from the awkward couple.

"Hey kid. Have you eaten breakfast yet?" Emma asked to pull focus away from the pirate and the waitress.

"No. Hey, Ruby!" Henry called. Emma now realized her plan would do less to draw attention away from Ruby.

"Hi Henry."

"I'll have a slice of pumpkin pie and hot chocolate," he said.

"Yeah right. How about a waffle and eggs?" Emma suggested as she turned on Mom-mode. Henry nodded acceptance, and Ruby turned back to the kitchen, giving Hook a wink that could have been seen from the moon.

"Do you think you could teach me how to sail sometime?" Henry asked Hook, hero-worship clear in his eyes. Ever since the pirate had dispensed with Peter Pan's shadow and freed Henry and the rest of the Lost Boys, there was no one that could compete with Henry for importance and respect.

"Sure lad. I may have time on Saturday."

Henry continued to look at the pirate hopefully, excited at any chance to spend time with him.

"Henry, your food will be out in a minute. But I have a special stack of pancakes for someone here," Ruby said with a smile and another obvious wink. The plate she set down in front of Hook was taller than the typical order, topped with strawberry syrup and whipped cream the size of a mountain. Emma may have been able to justify their actions earlier, but this clearly indicated a familiarity even Emma hadn't achieved with the pirate captain.

"Wow! Either Ruby or Granny really likes you, because they never put that much whipped cream on anything!" Henry said the words that Emma was thinking.

"I couldn't say," Hook said, his smile saying the opposite if his words. Emma silently cursed that Henry hadn't eaten with Regina earlier to give her an excuse to escape this situation now. The jingling bells above the door diverted her attention, and she saw the one person that could make this even worse.

"Emma, Henry, how's the rash?" Dr. Whale asked as he walked into the diner. He was clearly not dressed for the hospital with his dark gray suit and blue blue tie that emphasized the color of his eyes. If that wasn't enough, the flowers in his hands certainly weren't the normal everyday accessory. Emma realized it was the outfit she had recommended for him, and knew what his true intention was, and it wasn't breakfast. She wished she could warn the man that she had inflated full of false hope, but Ruby appeared with Henry's waffle, and he pulled her attention immediately.

"Victor, morning," she said with a daze in her voice.

"Good morning Ruby. How are you?" Whale asked.

Ruby's response was non-committal. Emma tried to get Whale's attention to flag him down before he went through with their plan. As subtle as she tried to be, it certainly wasn't.

"Are you okay Emma?" Hook asked.

"Are you having a seizure?" Ruby asked.

"No, I'm fine. Just - Henry needs to get to school, and you're holding his breakfast hostage right now," Emma lied.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." Ruby set down the dish, her eyes still focused on Whale. Emma could tell that whatever was going on between Ruby and Hook, it didn't affect her level of attraction to Whale at least.

"What can I get for you Victor?" Ruby asked when the silence stretched uncomfortably onward.

"A coffee to-go, and - Saturday evening spent in your company?"

Emma could have sworn the entire diner inhaled at that moment, and every eye was traveling between Ruby, Whale, and Hook.

"Oh, well..." Ruby looked at Hook, obviously trying to figure out his reaction to this request. Hook's eyes flitted between Ruby and Emma, and then finally settled on Whale. The blue irises became icy and harsh.

"What are you trying to pull?"

Whale turned to him, clearly shocked by the tense words. "What?"

"What makes you believe you are worthy to court the beautiful Miss Ruby here?" Hook asked, standing up to more fully intimidate the doctor.

Emma couldn't help the tiny part of her heart that was hurt more than she would have expected at the amount of care and effort Hook took towards Ruby. This thing, whatever it was, meant a great deal to Hook.

"What are you suggesting, pirate? Because there is plenty about your past that doesn't even approach good enough for Ruby."

"Hey, guys, what are you doing?" Ruby asked, her tone extremely nervous.

"If this man thinks he can just walk in here and try to take you away, I feel it is my duty to set him right. You see, doctor, Ruby and I are..."

"STOP!" Ruby yelled. This time the entire diner did go completely still. Hook and Whale were still standing close together, but were now turned toward Ruby. Henry has stopped mid bite, but had failed to close his mouth. Emma tried to see exactly what was going on, but nothing seemed to be making sense.

"Ruby, what's wrong?" she asked.

Ruby turned to the pirate. "Hook, I think it's time to come clean."

"You mean about..."

"Yes," she interrupted. She turned to Emma, and her face became more sheepish than Emma could ever imagine the wolf-girl being. "Hook and I were trying to figure out a way for him to let you know how he felt. It seemed like he made his intentions clear a long time ago, so I suggested bringing out your feelings by making you jealous."

"Wait, you two aren't together? You were just playing me?" Emma asked, anger and incredulity playing out equally on her face.

"You actually thought Hook liked Ruby? After everything that happened in Neverland? Mom, please," Henry said before returning to his food, clearly enjoying the breakfast show playing out around him.

"Is this true?" Emma looked at Hook, silently begging him to confirm the story.

"Love, in over 300 years, I've never felt this way about a woman."

Whale interrupted the intense gaze between the two with his own questions about the situation. "So, why did you challenge my advance on Ruby then?"

"I thought I was still playing a role. It had the added advantage of you needing to fight for a woman. Just shows how you really feel about her mate." Despite the wink and the lowering of his voice, everyone in the vicinity knew exactly what he was implying. The argument seemed weak though, until Ruby threw her arms around Whale.

"Oh, Victor, you do care! I knew there was more to you than just friends with benefits, but I wasn't sure until now."

Whale returned the embrace and mouthed 'thank you' to Hook over her shoulder. When Ruby finally let go of her death grip, she pulled herself up on her toes and kissed Whale soundly. The other diners began to cheer and clap in congratulations.

"We can't let them have all the attention, can we darling?" Hook raised a sexy eyebrow and pulled Emma up from her seat. Millimeters before their lips connected, Emma felt a strong arm behind her back as her only means of support, her knees bent under the weight of Hook's body directly against hers.

"This is what I meant by more enjoyable activities love," he said, then finally pressed his lips to hers to prevent any kind of retort. Emma suspected that there was a similar amount of cheering for them, but it was all completely drowned out by the voice in her head saying "it's about bloody time."

CSFWCSFWCSFWCSFWCSFW

Granny stepped out of the kitchen to see what all the noise was about. When she caught sight of the two couples making out in t he middle of her restaurant, she couldn't help letting out a shout. "People come here to eat, not see you all kissing like hormonal teenagers! Stop that right now!"

When the exclamation did nothing to break apart the PDA, she walked back into the kitchen muttering, "Just wait until I get the hose."


End file.
